Communication - Revision history

Awcarvey: /* Non-Verbal Communication */

2017-06-07T00:58:52Z

Non-Verbal Communication

← Older revision		Revision as of 20:58, 6 June 2017
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	* Appearance		* Appearance
	* Eye contact		* Eye contact
	The more stressed ~~and~~ individual may be:		The more stressed an individual may be:
	* the less able they are to process verbal information effectively		* the less able they are to process verbal information effectively
	* the more reliant they become on non-verbal communication		* the more reliant they become on non-verbal communication

Dolphin: /* Respectful Attitude */ Add "non-confrontational"

2017-05-09T01:28:37Z

Respectful Attitude: Add "non-confrontational"

← Older revision		Revision as of 21:28, 8 May 2017
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	== Talking ==		== Talking ==

	=== Respectful Attitude ===		=== Respectful, Non-confrontational Attitude ===
	When talking be relatable, polite and respectful. The word “Please” does wonders! Always make sure to introduce yourself.		When talking be relatable, polite and respectful. The word “Please” does wonders! Always make sure to introduce yourself.

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	Examine your possible biases and personal assumptions about the issues you’re communicating. Disclose your own interests and agendas. The receivers will quickly tune out if they suspect that you have a hidden agenda. By being authentic, you will gain credibility, which is essential for effective communication.		Examine your possible biases and personal assumptions about the issues you’re communicating. Disclose your own interests and agendas. The receivers will quickly tune out if they suspect that you have a hidden agenda. By being authentic, you will gain credibility, which is essential for effective communication.

			Remember that as Rangers, we try to use non-confrontational communication whenever possible, to encourage cooperation and help create a safe environment.

	=== Clarity ===		=== Clarity ===

Dolphin at 18:05, 8 May 2017

2017-05-08T18:05:59Z

← Older revision		Revision as of 14:05, 8 May 2017
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	A useful warning sign: If you or the participant are starting to repeat yourselves, something has gone wrong in the communication cycle. The speaker may feel misunderstood, or you may be getting overwhelmed or over-involved. If this happens, slow down and ask more questions, or kick it sideways to another set of Rangers.		A useful warning sign: If you or the participant are starting to repeat yourselves, something has gone wrong in the communication cycle. The speaker may feel misunderstood, or you may be getting overwhelmed or over-involved. If this happens, slow down and ask more questions, or kick it sideways to another set of Rangers.

	See more in the next section on [[Mediation]].		<center>See more in the next section on [[Mediation]].

Dolphin: /* Listening */

2017-05-05T15:26:05Z

Listening

Dolphin: /* Active Listening */ Move material from former Empathy section to Active Listening, move silence to Listening, clean up old previously moved text

2017-05-05T15:20:20Z

Active Listening: Move material from former Empathy section to Active Listening, move silence to Listening, clean up old previously moved text

← Older revision		Revision as of 11:20, 5 May 2017
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	=== Timing ===		=== Timing ===
	In effective communication, timing is critical. For example, a message of praise and recognition should not come too late after the fact or it will lose its effectiveness. “Better late than never” may be true, but a timely message is the best.		In effective communication, timing is critical. For example, a message of praise and recognition should not come too late after the fact or it will lose its effectiveness. “Better late than never” may be true, but a timely message is the best.

	~~=== Silence ===~~
	Sometimes, the best way to communicate is by not talking. Silence can be comfortable or uncomfortable and both can be useful in the right situation. Sometimes silent companionship is all that someone needs if they're stressed out. Uncomfortable silence can be a useful tool for getting people to think about what they've been saying or get them to talk more.

	=== Non-Verbal Communication ===		=== Non-Verbal Communication ===
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	== Rephrasing ==		== Rephrasing ==
			Much of what we do in our communication as Rangers is rephrasing: rephrasing what we ask and say, and rephrasing what we hear (see more below in Active Listening.)

	=== Questions: Open & closed ===		=== Questions: Open & closed ===
	Asking questions is key to finding out information. Think about the types of questions you’re asking.		Asking questions is key to finding out information. Think about the types of questions you’re asking.
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	Most people don’t like negative communication and bad news. Passive, weak, or negative communication will turn people off. Even the most negative, critical, or difficult communication will be better received when presented in a positive, affirmative style. Instead of saying, “This is a terrible idea,” try, “Tell me how we can make this idea work.”		Most people don’t like negative communication and bad news. Passive, weak, or negative communication will turn people off. Even the most negative, critical, or difficult communication will be better received when presented in a positive, affirmative style. Instead of saying, “This is a terrible idea,” try, “Tell me how we can make this idea work.”

	~~Move to Mediation:~~

	Finally, help create more options. Often, when people get riled up, options seem to disappear. Offering more options (or helping them think of options themselves) can calm someone down. People without options can feel trapped. Listening and clarifying the real issues is important to help generate solutions that resolve the issue.

	== Listening ==		== Listening ==
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	'''Listening styles''' can be on a spectrum of reactivity:		'''Listening styles''' can be on a spectrum of reactivity:
			* Silent, passive, non-reactive: Sometimes just being silent and not reacting at all is uncomfortable but helpful.
			* Silent but reactive: Giving non-verbal cues such as nodding, moving hands, facial expressions, encouraging.
			* Active listening: Communicating that you understand what the person is saying and feeling.

	~~Passive~~, ~~non-reactive:~~ Sometimes ~~just being~~ silent ~~and not reacting at~~ all ~~is uncomfortable but helpful~~.		=== Silence ===
			Sometimes, the best way to communicate is by not talking. Silence can be comfortable or uncomfortable and both can be useful in the right situation. Sometimes silent companionship is all that someone needs if they're stressed out. Uncomfortable silence can be a useful tool for getting people to think about what they've been saying or get them to talk more.
	~~Silent but reactive: Giving non-verbal cues such as nodding, moving hands, facial expressions, encouraging~~.

	=== Active Listening ===		=== Active Listening ===
	Active Listening is a communication tool in which the speaker restates or rephrases what they have heard in their own words to confirm understanding of the communication. This is often a very useful listening style when rangering (and in life), so a very good skill to learn and practice.		Active Listening is a communication tool in which the speaker restates or rephrases what they have heard in their own words to confirm understanding of the communication. This is often a very useful listening style when rangering (and in life), so a very good skill to learn and practice.

	~~Also see~~ the ~~section on [[Mediation\|Empathy~~ and ~~Empathetic Attunement]]~~, ~~which includes reflecting~~ emotions while ~~actively~~ listening.		'''Understanding Emotions'''

			One part of active listening is understand what the other person is feeling in addition to what they are saying, and then communicating to them that you understand them.

			Active listening is '''NOT''':
			*Agreement: you don’t have to agree with someone to understand what they’re feeling
			*Liking: you don’t need to like or love them to understand what they’re feeling
			*Placating: letting them know you understand them is not the same as telling them what they want to hear
			*Feeling the same emotion as they do.
			The point of understanding emotions when active listening is not to talk someone out of how they’re feeling, it’s to tune in to how they’re feeling so you can connect with them and thus deal with them more effectively. This is important because feeling understood can be calming/de-escalating for an upset participant, and they are more likely to be open to your input if they feel understood.

			'''Technique for understanding emotions while active listening'''
			*Step 1: Notice the emotion the person is expressing.
			*Step 2: Look for the cause of the emotion.
			**Try to figure out what thoughts / beliefs are underlying the emotion.
			***With angry people, look for perceptions of unfairness.
			***With sad people, look for perceptions of loss.
			***With anxious people, look for perceptions of danger.
			*Step 3: Validate the feeling (without necessarily agreeing with the assessment).
			'''Example of active listening use rephrasing and understanding emotion'''
			* Participant: "I don't have to put up with their crap anymore. I need some sleep, and they need to turn off the fucking sound system."
			* Ranger: "So, you’re angry, you’re tired, and you want them to turn off the music. Is that right?"

	== De-escalation ==		== De-escalation ==

Drama at 11:45, 5 May 2017

2017-05-05T11:45:56Z

← Older revision		Revision as of 07:45, 5 May 2017
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	We Communication Skills are key in all steps of [[F.L.A.M.E]].. We use communication skills while [[Find Out: Approaching the Situation\|finding out]] about a situation, and especially when listening. When interacting with participants, we first focus on Communication skills, and then can integrate Mediation Skills.		Communication Skills are key in all steps of [[F.L.A.M.E]].. We use communication skills while [[Find Out: Approaching the Situation\|finding out]] about a situation, and especially when listening. When interacting with participants, we first focus on Communication skills, and then can integrate Mediation Skills.

	We communicate by '''Thinking''', '''Talking''', '''Rephrasing''', '''Listening''', and '''De-escalating'''.		We communicate by '''Thinking''', '''Talking''', '''Rephrasing''', '''Listening''', and '''De-escalating'''.

	'''Communication is the he exchange of information'''. Parts of it are or can be:		'''Communication is the exchange of information'''.

			Parts of it are or can be:
	* The words used in a message		* The words used in a message
	* How the message is transmitted (paper, face-to-face, or by radio)		* How the message is transmitted (paper, face-to-face, or by radio)

Dolphin: /* Active Listening */

2017-05-04T19:56:52Z

Active Listening

← Older revision		Revision as of 15:56, 4 May 2017
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	Active Listening is a communication tool in which the speaker restates or rephrases what they have heard in their own words to confirm understanding of the communication. This is often a very useful listening style when rangering (and in life), so a very good skill to learn and practice.		Active Listening is a communication tool in which the speaker restates or rephrases what they have heard in their own words to confirm understanding of the communication. This is often a very useful listening style when rangering (and in life), so a very good skill to learn and practice.

	Also see the section on Empathy and Empathetic Attunement, which includes reflecting emotions while actively listening.		Also see the section on [[Mediation\|Empathy and Empathetic Attunement]], which includes reflecting emotions while actively listening.

	== De-escalation ==		== De-escalation ==

Dolphin: /* Listening */

2017-05-04T19:51:44Z

Listening

← Older revision		Revision as of 15:51, 4 May 2017
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	=== Active Listening ===		=== Active Listening ===
	Active Listening is a communication tool in which the speaker restates or rephrases what they have heard in their own words to confirm understanding of the communication. This is often a very useful listening style when rangering (and in life), so a very good skill to learn and practice.		Active Listening is a communication tool in which the speaker restates or rephrases what they have heard in their own words to confirm understanding of the communication. This is often a very useful listening style when rangering (and in life), so a very good skill to learn and practice.

			Also see the section on Empathy and Empathetic Attunement, which includes reflecting emotions while actively listening.

	== De-escalation ==		== De-escalation ==

Dolphin: /* De-escalating Techniques Using Words */

2017-05-04T01:16:06Z

De-escalating Techniques Using Words

← Older revision		Revision as of 21:16, 3 May 2017
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	== Talking ==		== Talking ==

	=== Attitude ===		=== Respectful Attitude ===
	When talking be relatable and ~~polite~~. The word “Please” does wonders! Always make sure to introduce yourself.		When talking be relatable, polite and respectful. The word “Please” does wonders! Always make sure to introduce yourself.

	Express that you are there to help. Be aware of how you may be perceived as an authority figure.		Express that you are there to help. Be aware of how you may be perceived as an authority figure. Keep social capital in mind.

	Examine your possible biases and personal assumptions about the issues you’re communicating. Disclose your own interests and agendas. The receivers will quickly tune out if they suspect that you have a hidden agenda. By being authentic, you will gain credibility, which is essential for effective communication.		Examine your possible biases and personal assumptions about the issues you’re communicating. Disclose your own interests and agendas. The receivers will quickly tune out if they suspect that you have a hidden agenda. By being authentic, you will gain credibility, which is essential for effective communication.
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	Some verbal communication techniques can help de-escalate an upset person as well. Active listening is particularly helpful.		Some verbal communication techniques can help de-escalate an upset person as well. Active listening is particularly helpful.
	* Define emotions: Help the person to define what they are feeling. For example, you can say “I understand that you are upset” or “It sounds like you’re really angry about this.”		* Define emotions: Help the person to define what they are feeling. For example, you can say “I understand that you are upset” or “It sounds like you’re really angry about this.”
			* Use “we” and “us” to generate connection with people.

	=== Disengaging from the situation ===		=== Disengaging from the situation ===

Dolphin: /* Then de-escalate others, if possible */

2017-05-04T00:39:15Z

Then de-escalate others, if possible

← Older revision		Revision as of 20:39, 3 May 2017
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	=== Then de-escalate others, if possible ===		=== Then de-escalate others, if possible ===
	Once you’ve de-escalated yourself you’ll want to de-escalate those around you. Separate arguing people. Ideally, get them out of each other’s sight (while maintaining sight of your partner). Tip: if the participants are back-to back, you and your partner can be facing each other.		Once you’ve de-escalated yourself you’ll want to de-escalate those around you.
			* Separate arguing people.
			** Ideally, get them out of each other’s sight (while maintaining sight of your partner). Tip: if the participants are back-to back, you and your partner can be facing each other.
			* Calm people with your presence and actions and example, not by telling them to calm down.

			** It’s hard to get people to calm down if you’re acting anxious or angry.
			** Never tell anyone to calm down.

	=== De-escalation Techniques using Body Language ===		=== De-escalation Techniques using Body Language ===

← Older revision		Revision as of 11:26, 5 May 2017
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	Communication is not just speaking - it’s both speaking and listening. One-way communication is no communication at all. Make sure to listen and understand the others’ needs and points of view.		Communication is not just speaking - it’s both speaking and listening. One-way communication is no communication at all. Make sure to listen and understand the others’ needs and points of view.

	When listening try to listen honestly in the moment, acknowledging the person you’re speaking with. It is also beneficial to read what they are saying emotionally as well as what words are said.		When listening, try to listen honestly in the moment, acknowledging the person you’re speaking with. It is also beneficial to read what they are saying emotionally as well as what words are said.

	'''Listening styles''' can be on a spectrum of reactivity:		'''Listening styles''' can be on a spectrum of reactivity:
	* Silent, passive, non-reactive: Sometimes just being silent and not reacting at all is uncomfortable but helpful.		* Silent, passive, non-reactive: Sometimes just being silent and not reacting at all is uncomfortable but helpful.
	* Silent but reactive: Giving non-verbal cues such as nodding, moving hands, facial expressions, encouraging.		* Silent but reactive: Giving non-verbal cues such as nodding, moving hands, facial expressions, encouraging.
	* Active listening: Communicating that you understand what the person is saying and feeling.		* Active listening: Communicating by rephrasing that you understand what the person is saying and feeling.

	=== Silence ===		=== Silence ===
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	The point of understanding emotions when active listening is not to talk someone out of how they’re feeling, it’s to tune in to how they’re feeling so you can connect with them and thus deal with them more effectively. This is important because feeling understood can be calming/de-escalating for an upset participant, and they are more likely to be open to your input if they feel understood.		The point of understanding emotions when active listening is not to talk someone out of how they’re feeling, it’s to tune in to how they’re feeling so you can connect with them and thus deal with them more effectively. This is important because feeling understood can be calming/de-escalating for an upset participant, and they are more likely to be open to your input if they feel understood.

	'''Technique for understanding emotions while active listening'''		'''Technique for understanding emotions while active listening:'''
	*Step 1: Notice the emotion the person is expressing.		*Step 1: Notice the emotion the person is expressing.
	*Step 2: Look for the cause of the emotion.		*Step 2: Look for the cause of the emotion.
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	***With anxious people, look for perceptions of danger.		***With anxious people, look for perceptions of danger.
	*Step 3: Validate the feeling (without necessarily agreeing with the assessment).		*Step 3: Validate the feeling (without necessarily agreeing with the assessment).
	'''Example of active listening use rephrasing and understanding emotion'''		'''Example of active listening use rephrasing and understanding emotion:'''
	* Participant: "I don't have to put up with their crap anymore. I need some sleep, and they need to turn off the fucking sound system."		* Participant: "I don't have to put up with their crap anymore. I need some sleep, and they need to turn off the fucking sound system."
	* Ranger: "So, you’re angry, you’re tired, and you want them to turn off the music. Is that right?"		* Ranger: "So, you’re angry, you’re tired, and you want them to turn off the music. Is that right?"